I am sleepy....

...when I write this post. But I feel I need to say something, or else I might end up of keep thinking and think and think and that might disturb my dream for tonight (>.<)
Today is already Thursday..left two days before my registration day for my degree. I feel so nervous, well ..since it has been awhile since I left my world of study. But at the same time I feel happy too, mainly is because I got a chance to create a better me, and partially is because it will help me to forget my recent problem.

Yea, my recent problem which is about relationship which is not really a 'real' relationship. Few weeks ago I decided to 'let go' someone's hand which I already hold for 2 years. I actually dont want too, but I think I got no choice, because if I still holding on, my heart might be continuously smash up. Even the person ask me not to do so at 1st.. but for me there is no point to continue because it will only invite more tears.

At the beginning I was really sad, as I lost 3 things at the same time. I lost a place to lean my heart. a person who I always spent my time and share my hobby with and also I feel like I lost a friend. But now Im fine with the 2 lost, as my heart can learn how to stand by it self. I also not really fond into the hobby that I used to do with tht person before. But I feel a bit sad for the part that I lost a friend.

Today, someone who I can say the main cause of the things that happened give suggestion whether 3 of us can do what we always do, but this time together ie 3 of us become friends. Well...I just say to her maybe can. But in my heart I wonder whether I really can face it or not.
Seeing a person who we used to stick together but now stick with another person is not really a good scene right? I dunno..maybe it will make me feel that I actually not lost the person completely and it will make me stop holding grudge on anyone, but..ugh I really dont know what should I feel about this.

Maybe, like most of people out there always said, I should just let time heal it all..