Im not playing with my words

When I said to you Im depressed, means Im really depressed. If I told you Im eating sleeping pills, means I really eat those pills, in fact Im actually sick right now because I started loose my appetite and skip meals. When I said I need to talk, means I really need to talk. When I say I miss you, means I really miss you. Everytime I said I love you means I really love you. This 3 words I strictly only said for people that I got my heart on.

Dear, I want you to know that I never joke with my words, I never play with those word just to grab your attention. I really mean it. It hurt me when you never respond for all that I said. It puzzled me when you asked me to stop asking so much question. I asked with my reasons. I asked cos of ur moody attitude that leads you to your ignorance. It hurt me when you signing out without telling me as if Im invisible. It hurt me a lot. Honestly speaking I never feel as hurt as this before. Sometimes I really hope if you read all this, because I know you wont listen to this crap when you are inside your own cave.

My only strength for you is when you still say yes answering do-you-love-me questions. I do really hope u really mean it. And if you dont need my companion anymore in your life, just tell me nicely. I know it will hurt me deeply but playing hide and seek will hurt me as deep as well.

I dont know how many more should I cry. My eyes already swollen right now and my head is dizzy. I pity myself for having to go through all this shity stuff in relationship. My previous was shitty enaugh, so I want this time to be sweet. I guess I already tried my best.

I envy my friends who got a lovey dovey bf. You girls are lucky. While mine is.. you got your own aura which I cant explain. But I just hope you dont have pms everyweek and sometimes everyday. Im tired to deal with it. Please do care my feelings.

I shall stop soon cos Im seriously dizzy now. I ate some pills to put me in sleep, so I guess thats the reason.

And for my dearest Jaycee, you are old enough to think wad have you done to this weak girl here. You admit your mistake, but only admit isnt enaugh, it should came with an action to cure everything, not just keep repeating the same thing. Dont expect me to swallow all the shit u give me. Maybe I should give you some break to think. You cant continuously abusing me like this.

Last but not least, I still love you regardless of all things that you done to me. I know people might called me stupid, but wadever, maybe I am..

Till then, goodnight.